Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Confidence

They can conquer who believe they can.
                            John Dryden


It has been a very busy week around here.

My heart started racing. The tractor engine roared. My Hero sat in his tractor on the road and watched.


I had been there before. There are not too many jobs, on the farm, that I do not do. Or, at least give it my best try. There is one job that can still break me out into a cold sweat and have me doubt my abilities.


We have been hauling hay home from the fields. The round bales that look so pretty and sit in the fields needed to be moved, so that we can get a second crop. This year we have a great quality and quantity of hay as compared to last year’s dismal low-quality hay. Too much rain had fallen during the prime harvest, last year. This year that does not seem to be the problem. It is dry, dry. We will need rain for that second crop.

Our cows should be very happy with this year’s winter offerings.


About my heart racing and that cold sweat thing. It started about twenty or more years ago. We were hauling hay down an old unused back road. It was rough and very hilly. Not very familiar with the tractor that I was driving, that had a huge round bale wagon and a very full load behind me, I took my time. I was nervous. This was my first time on this job.


The first hill and to head down was scary. I could feel the wagon load behind me pushing. I geared down. When you push in the clutch you have to switch quickly or you will lose control for a bit. Thoughts of hurling out of control and being pushed into the ditch had run through my head. I made it and was so proud of myself.

Then, there was the hill that I needed to climb. From the bottom of that hill, it looked to me like Mount Everest. It happened to be the steepest hill on the road. Suddenly, my wheels started spinning and I guess I panicked. I pushed in the clutch which if you drive a stick car you would do. The brake does not work on its own. The tractor started to slide backwards. Just as I prepared to be thrown from a seat-beltless, cab-less tractor, the tractor jerked ahead. I had done nothing.

I continued to drive up the hill seemingly effortless. I chalked it up to divine intervention. No matter, I had made it.


Back at the house, My Hero who had been travelling behind me told me that he had pushed me up the hill with the loader on his tractor. He had seen that I was struggling.

This time he sat on the road and watched me conquer my fears and haul that huge load of hay up the hill. I made it. It just took confidence in myself and the fact that someone believed that I could conquer it on my own.

 


Later

26 comments:

  1. Farming is indeed a dangerous profession! I'm glad to hear the hay quality is good this year...and will pray for the rain needed for a second crop! You are an amazing woman! :)

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    1. Rain would certainly be a wonderful thing to see right now. Thanks Alica

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  2. AND knowing he was there to give you a push if needed lol.

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    1. I did not know he was behind me but this is the reason he is called My Hero. He is always there.

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  3. You go, Girl! I can't even back a trailer up - in my case it's more of a lack of skill than confidence. However, that combination can be dangerous. You are amazing!

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    1. I cannot back up a trailer or a wagon either. You have to think backwards and I have never been able to get that.

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  4. Good for you for trying and succeeding. I'd be nervous too.
    Hugs, Julia

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    1. As you well know Julia you have to do what you can when needed on the farm. Hugs

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  5. wow those bales of hay are huge! .. we used to build forts with the small rectangular bales but can't imagine building forts to play in with those round ones.. glad round up is going well and that the hay is good.. see you son.

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  6. With experience you get the feel of your equipment.

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    1. Indeed experience does make it easier with each time tried Red.

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  7. Grace .. you are AMAZING ! I love this little story of facing your fears and conquering them .. I have no idea how to drive a stick shift at all, so doing it on farm vehicles is the ultimate .. you did it !! Well done you !!
    I am glad your hay is turning out much better than last year ... but yes .. it looks like a dry year .. fingers crossed for rain .. just enough to fix things in the right way :-)

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    1. We owned one manual stick car. I remember rolling backwards down the hill on Princess near Aunt Lucy's not a pretty sight and freaked out a few drivers behind me. LOL. Tractors are easier.

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    2. LOL .. Grace I know exactly where you mean with that hill .. I sort of regret not learning on a shift .. I was so awkward as a teen I think my father would have had a stroke trying to teach me ? LOL

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  8. Farming is a beautiful job same way difficult one. People who have interest only can achieve. Nice to see your hard work and the yield:)

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    1. Yes it can be both. Thanks for your insight and your comment.

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  9. Your love stories are the best.

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  10. Being a non-driver, that's one job I'm glad I will never have to do. When it comes to farming I can probably do quite well collecting the eggs, but that's about it.

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    1. I am sure we could find lots of jobs you would like that do not require driving:)

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  11. you should always be proud of yourself, your a farmer, we all need you and appreciate the hard work. beautiful blue skies there, i'm glad things are going well and that your crop of hay is good. fingers crossed for another one!!!

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  12. I love that your hero gave you a helping hand and you didn't even know it until later. That's the true definition of "hero." I'm glad you got the job done!

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  13. Your Hero had your back as always.

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